"How To Have Sex With A Girl"

No, I have not decided to start writing pornographic posts... I have decided to share another story about my little man - who, if you remember correctly, is only 9 years old.

It all started on the way home from basketball practice. It was just the normal father/son chitchat... how many baskets he made, his scrimmage next Saturday, straight to the shower when we get home - etc. etc.

About halfway home, he asks me if he can put some "hip hop" on his iPod... to which I ask, "like what?". He replies "Black Eyed Peas... stuff like that." 

OK... no problem, right? 

WRONG!

"But dad, I only have like 72 cents in my account" he says.

Me, being a single parent, of course have a solution to the problem. Back in October, when his birthday is, one of his friend's mothers gave me the card her son forgot to bring to his party - which contained a $15 iTunes card. 

(Yes, I realize that it probably should have been in the house and spent already, but he opened the card the same day he received it, and left it in the console of the truck. I figured, it's his... if he wants it bad enough, he'll bring it in the house... right?)

So anyways... we get home from basketball and head into the house for bath time and whatnot, with him carrying the iTunes card in his hand. After a quick bath, we set about trying to redeem the card. As it has been a while since I've done this for him, we had a hard time remembering the process. If you've ever dealt with an iPod, you know that it can have as many home pages as you can fill up with apps, and trying to find one specific app can get quite frustrating.

Searching through all of these apps, I happened to find the "search"
 screen... keeping in mind the tender age of my little guy (9) - imagine my disbelief when I see his latest search query...

Yep, you guessed it

"HOW TO HAVE SEX WITH A GIRL"

Now, doing the kind of work that I do - not much shocks me when it comes to today's youth, HOWEVER, this is MY child we're talking about here!
Giving myself a little credit here... I think I handled it rather well and simply asked "Ummm, what exactly is this all about?" pointing to the screen.
Needless to say, all I received in response was an absolute look of horror and a tremendous crying jag, accompanied by him bolting from the living room, flying up the stairs and a slam of his bedroom door!

After the standard amount of time to allow him to "get it out of his system", we had a short conversation about his curiosity regarding the subject and for now, are just leaving it at this... "from now on if you have any questions regarding this, all you have to do is ask daddy."

I realize he is at the age where he and his friends are talking about it, seeing it on tv and hearing the songs on the radio...
but does he really have to grow up so fast, can't I keep my little boy for just a little bit longer... please????

homework anxiety, recess freak or conscientious student?

The teachers at my son's school, where he is in the third grade, have a little thing they do if a student forgets to have his/hers homework book signed, or they forget an assignment, journal, etc. - their policy is to take five minutes off of their recess.

As I'm sure you can imagine, this is a fate worse than death for a nine year old boy!
So, as he is getting ready for math class today, he realizes that he doesn't have his math journal and all he can think about of course is... yep, recess!

(Now if you knew my little guy at all, you would know that gym class and recess are the only reasons to go to school in the first place!)

Back to the story - as I said, everyone is getting out their assignments and journals, and he realizes he forgot his at home!

INSTANT PANIC!!!

(A little more back story before i go on... he tends to get VERY anxious when he makes a mistake or gets into trouble, even when it comes to the smallest things.)

Now, as I said before - he's just beside himself with worry over the journal and all of a sudden... he THROWS UP right in the middle of the classroom!

Now he can think pretty quick on his feet when he has to, and saw the perfect opportunity to not only get out of trouble for not having his math journal but to get out of the rest of the day of school!

I missed the call from the school nurse saying he was sick, but Grammie answered the phone and made the trek to pick him up, of course. On the trip home, he managed to continue the "sick" act, saying his stomach hurt. However... once he got home, all of a sudden he's a bundle of energy and shows no signs or symptoms of illness - I know, amazing, right?
After about 15 minutes of questioning, ranging from "are you feeling better now?" and "what did you eat for lunch?" to "was someone picking on you?", the magic question turned out to be..."what class did this happen in?" Lo and behold... it was math class and the journal was sitting on the coffee table from last night!

Now as the title of this asks... which of the three categories do you think he falls into?

As for me... I'm going with a little bit of all three - but feel free to make up your own mind.