Things from the bus...

"You say 'Hi"...A LOT!!!"
That remark came from one of the second graders on my bus the other day, as she was standing beside me while the high school students boarded  for the ride home.
I wish there was some way to type in it her tone of voice, because just the way she said it reminded me of that certain excitement and innocence that kids that age still have.

"Secret Admida-er"
On Valentine's day the elementary kids on my bus, of course, had a valentine exchange at school. One of the little girls was talking about one in particular that she received, that wasn't signed. To which another little girl replied "That means you have a secret admida-er... and pretty soon he's going to tell you he loves you and you'll get married!" (she has a slight speech impediment, but that just made it sound that much cuter!)

"Accents"
According to another little girl on my bus, only FOREIGNERS have accents... and you will NEVER hear an accent coming from an American.

"He's being a real jerk today!"
 There are an elementary aged (kindergarten and second grade, respectively) brother and sister that ride my bus and you can just tell that this little guy can be a real handful at times. He recently missed a week of school to have his tonsils removed, so the day he returned, I of course made a big deal out of greeting him when he got on the bus that morning... to which he just kind of scowled and went and sat down. Almost immediately, his older  sister says "He's being a real jerk today, he bit mom this morning!" On ther afternoon run, as he was having a little "trouble" listening, she informed that " at home, he curses." To which I replied "Oh no, I hope that's not true!" Her response... "Oh yes he does! He says the bad 'A' word and puts 'hole' at the end of it... ALL THE TIME!"

"It must have fallen out of my book bag"

I found something very similar to this on the bus floor the other day, as I was doing my "post trip" walk through. Being the curious sort, I smoothed it out and discovered a "Progress Report" stating a "lack of completed homework... and failure to catch it up will result in detention". Hmmm... so, of course being the ex-child care worker that I am, I set it by my seat to give to the student the next day. As I handed it to him, I said "I found this CRUMPLED UP on the floor last night, it doesn't matter to me if you give it to your mom or not, but don't crumple it up and leave it on the bus, for me to clean up." To which he replied "Ohhh, it must have fallen out of my book bag." No, I didn't press the issue of it's "crumpled" condition.


Stay tuned, I'm sure this is just the beginning of "Things from the bus"

talk about a loaded topic...

i have recently started going to church...
i know, right?!?!

oh, i suppose i should say this next - i am not particularly a fan of church... or even religion itself.

-told ya it was a loaded topic -

so anyways... i'm not real sure why i started going again, it just seemed like what i should do - at the time.
i should also say this, i have nothing against people who are religious or enjoy going to church... i'm just not a fan.
and i know why i'm not... there's more than one reason - two... to be specific:

the first...
a bad experience when i was younger (20's... nothing like a molesting priest or anything like that) - we'll just call it hypocrisy.
and B... there are way too many contradictions in the "instruction manual" aka: the bible

let's start with the first...
i was very involved in the church i was attending at the time (youth group, sunday school, bible school - you get the idea) and when i made what could definitely be considered a sketchy decision... the whole congregation (per the asst. pastor anyways) thought it would be best if i didn't attend anymore, so i quit going.
funny thing though, as the years went by, (as they tend to do)... i would run into various people (members of the aforementioned congregation) who were so saddened and upset that i stopped attending said church. oh, did i mention that some of these same people were specifically mentioned by name as being some of those that preferred i stop attending.
like i said... hypocrisy, plain and simple.

now, onto B... the contradictions -
look up almost any topic and you will find a number of verses that are in favor of it AND ones that prohibit said topic. now i'm not a "gray area" kind of guy... my world is very black or white, right or wrong, do or don't etc,etc,etc.
at this point i probably shouldn't even get into my thoughts on it's historical accuracy, as it wasn't written in "real time" but years and years after the actual events occurred, as told in story form throughout generations.


so there you have it, my most current internal quandary/debate/whatever you want to call it. as always, i am open to opinions, opposing views, questions, concerns or comments.

semi unemployed...

and not the least bit worried about it!

ever have a job you truly hated? that would describe my current (until friday) state of employment.

 i am currently working in a feed mill - i know, bad enough, right? - 

anyways...i have NEVER worked at a place that was more disorganized, under manned and with such screwed up priorities, than this place.

sooo... long story short - i have been there 6 weeks and since week 2, have walked around every day mentally practicing my "i quit" speech... and i have almost quit EVERY day since then. i'm not talking about an "i'm putting in my 2 week notice" speech - i'm talking "walk into the office and saying 

i'm done... right NOW

" speech.

3 days ago, i called a friend who does snow plowing and asked if he might have a job for me this winter... he said "possibly" - so i went to work the next day and gave my 2 week notice. sure, it's a gamble, but it's also a chance i'm willing to take at this point.

should i not happen to be working by oh, say december 5th or so
 - i will be re-enrolling in college and studying an as yet to be determined major. 

good or bad - smart or dumb... that's my plan. 

sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to keep your sanity and a feeling of being in control of your own life.

i also plan on trying to get into radiology school in the fall.

and finally, since there is only one person who reads this... i hope you are doing well - i miss our talks.

i think i may have lost my creativity...

whether it's writing or drawing...

i don't seem to have anything anymore - 

and i find that seriously disturbing!

you have to understand - i'm a doodler, a scribbler... a fairly deep thinker - and lately

 

I GOT NOTHIN' - AT ALL!

 

i want to draw, blog, come up with something creative for a facebook post even, but every time i sit down and try... it's a blank sheet of paper, screen, etc for what seems like forever.

 

the rational part of my brain blames it on the fact that i'm not working and have absolutely no social life at this point, therefore i really get no "stimulation" throughout my days - the irrational part of said brain blames it on age and a loss of "hope" per se...

 

anyways... i guess this is an attempt at getting back into the swing of things - and one of those rants i said i might post from time to time.

if you "listened", thanks... if not maybe i can use this a cathartic thing and kick my own-self in the ass and actually use it as motivation... we'll see what happens.

 

 

 

 

 

 

there may not be...

any more of these coming

i have no idea what to call this...

a tribute... ?

a pissed off rant... ?

an "isn't it funny how the world backfires on you" session... ?

maybe it qualifies as all three... you be the judge.

==============================================

now, what say we talk about a few things...

and let's start with the positive.

... as far as i know, there is only one person that reads this -if you still do- and i hope you know how much respect i have for you and how much our friendship has meant to me.

i'm going to miss you and our talks - you have been such a big help to me.

==================================================

now...

for the first time since 1982, i find myself unemployed and pretty much unable to support my family...

for what i feel is no good reason - because i did my job the way i was taught 17 long years ago.

you want stress... try being 46 years old and not be earning an income!

for as long as i can remember, my former employer has stressed "loyalty" and "second chances"...apparently they recently changed their thinking, and didn't tell anyone. 

fourteen total years... from the bottom of the barrel to the top of the heap, that pretty much sums up my "career".

help build the program, make great relationships with the people that they served, work overtime without compensation, answer phone calls in the middle of the night with a colicky baby asleep in the next room, use your own gas to look for runaways... etc,etc,etc.

 then... make one so called "mistake" and it's "see ya later" - no warning, no second chances, not even a "thanks, we couldn't have done it withoutcha".

===============================================

you know me... i did what they wanted, accepted the explanation given... (not gonna lie - i took the opportunity to speak MY mind before i took my leave -) but in no way do i understand the actions taken, regardless of the explanation i was given.

many people have done far worse than i did... were given second, third even fourth chances - again, i think the "loyalty" thing comes back into play here.

anyways... i'm sure there is still a lot still left to come out of this story, what and how it goes is yet to be seen... but i guarantee this - it won't be taken lightly or lying down!

 =====================================

closing statement... 

people that live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones.

===================

stay tuned

nice guys finish last

I take absolutely no credit for the writing of this... I just feel it applies to me and the situations in my life.

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To every guy that regrets hurting or losing her.

To every guy who knows which girl he wants.

To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."

To every guy that was never too busy TO DRIVE across town(or across the STATE)(or across the country) to see HER.

To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that did what she wanted to do.

To every guy that cried in front of her.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with meaning.

To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

To every guy THAT WOULD SIT AND WAIT HOURS TO SEE HER, EVEN IF THEY COULD ONLY SPEND A FEW MINUTES TOGETHER.

To every guy that would give his seat up.

To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what. And honestly believed what he said.

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought "maybe this could be the one".

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car.

To every guy that wasn't ...just trying to get laid.

To every guy that gave his heart and still has a piece missing.

To every guy who prays that she is happy even if he is not the one that makes her that way.

To every guy who DOESN'T CARE HOW FAR AWAY SHE LIVES, AND WILL STILL DATE HER BECAUSE ITS HER.

To every guy who cares the most about how she feels, even when she breaks your heart.



This is one bulletin for you...

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there...

but I happen to be one of them